Monday, May 29, 2006


Today I decided to to take a walk through the wild jungles of my slightly(??) unhinged mind.And here's the first thought that popped up.

There are a few things that really matter in this world. I mean, of course our life is cluttered with "important" things at every point of time; but stop a while- wait a minute- hold your horses: out of those millions of things that "mattered", what stays perenially important until now??Hardly any.
Shows how fickle we human beings, are doesn't it? Lets just take a simple example. two years back, 12th standard, what was topmost in our list of priorities was the boards & admission. Now? Heh heh heh.

The things that matter are the people who have supported you through life, passions, nature, memories. People who have been there whenever, wherever,whatever! Like family, friends who stick like glue, mentors. Passions which helped succour your spirit and nurture your mind- like music, art, dance, running a mile and feeling the blood pump through every vessel in your body. Nature,or should I say, beauty.Beauty as in the purity of a sea of green hills in the early morning. The tranquil strength of that giant blue ocean ,the sight of that endless blanket of blue that is the summer sky.Memories: like those endless evenings spent playing mindless games with your little brother. Thinking of the silly jokes over which both of you would laugh your heads off.Remembering how your mother had cried when you won the competetion. Of how her eyes crinkle at the sides when she smiles. How your dad just knows when you want to have ice creams and gets it for you without u saying a word. How your friends came all the way from their place driving through the traffic just to see you. How all of us spent an entire evening trying to fix a banquet and ended up eating most of it before it reached the table. Of the surprises planned and the scrapes shared.

It's things like this that really matter.Everything else is susceptible to change. But the things that remain evergreen are the things that matter. Because whatever you become and whatever your new priorities" are- these are the things that will make you sit up and give ABSO-BLOOMIN-LUTE attention.

Friday, May 26, 2006


These are my limericks I dunno whether they are technically correct, but I'm sure the comments I get will help me correct any mistakes. Cheers! Read on.

There was once a man from Burma,
He suffered from Leuco- Derma.
He darkened his patches,
And broke out in rashes;
He blames it on his karma.

There was once an old Sheikh from Muscat.
He kept all his money in a casket.
His apprentice knew,
With it he flew.
He didn't know the Sheikh had a musket.

There was once a girl called Shreya,
Who spent her days in prayer.
Along came Nitin,
And she was smitt'n.
Now she has no time for prayer.

POEM- Eve's Bite

One bite-
The Elixir flows.
Succulent flesh pours forth the juice;
Thirst quenching,
Life thrives-
But knowledge awakens-
The flow ends-
No one mourns a mosquitoe:
It bit the Forbidden Fruit.



Dried, dull,burnt corpses.
Yellow stalks bearing witness,
To the Sun's bright smile.


Frosty smiles, cold faces-
graves of the seeds lie under
seas of bitter ice.

Electric fan-

Half-hearted circles,
Slow, lazy revolutions-
Mirage of Spring breeze.


Dark and bright mingles,
Light and shadow play catch-catch.
A tube is dying.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

STORY: And then it rained...


Rimi- 14yrs, student-tenth standard
Present Situation: hyperventilating, Eyes bulging, mouth working: in short, SHE'S GONNA BLOW!

"MAAAAA!"Rimi hollered- proving that Rimi's vocal chords were in superb condition.


" What is it? What is it?"

Ma- 38 yrs, teacher
Present Situation: Half Asleep, confused,worried.

" What is it?"


" What?Rimi, it'll do me a lot of good if you slowed down and - "

" Ma are my fingers falling off?"


Ma, Present Situation: Irritated, incredulous.

" You wake me up at two o clock in the morning because you wanted to know whether your fingers were falling off?????"

Nod, nod.

Ma took a long deep breath- ignoring the acid smell of both Rimi and Ranji's socks, a rotting lost lunch, and several other unique fragrances.

" No Rimi dear, your fingers are not falling off. See-they are all right there: all 10 of them. Now why don't you go back to sleep? You have your first exam tomorrow."

For the kind reader, who has been wondering for so long why a 14yr old girl of adequate mental faculties, must believe her fingers to be falling off- this will be a revelation.

You see, Rimi was going to write that incredible hurdle of the education system- The BOARDS. Yes, that looming spectre of Lugubrious Learning, that Emperor of Exams. That very same institution that turns students into desperate tape recorders - striving,straining to catch every word of their Together Withs and R.D Sharmas in their Venus fly trap brains, until no other thought but " MARKS" beat a tattoo into their young souls.

And these tattoos had begun to burn in poor Rimi's breast since the month before- taking the shape of terrible nightmares. Her worst one, until now, was where she stared at a blank question paper and every one else got a normal one. Finally, when the first question appeared on the blank sheet- the bell would ring and her answer sheet, white as driven snow, was torn away from her clutching hands.

But this newest one was the worst by far. In this case- She got a normal question paper- She even knew all the answers . But the moment she took the pen up to let her knowledge flow- Catastrophe!!"- each of her fingers fell off until all that was left was a trapezium shaped stub!!!

So friends, you will not condemn her to being childish- you will empathise with the turmoil in that young mind, when she bagan screaming "MAAAAA".

It took Ma another 10 mins to get Rimi to go to sleep again.


The day dawned.

The sky was overshadowed by dark black clouds and the rain beat a steady rhythm on the window panes.

Rimi felt like a goat during BakrEid.

"Hey sis, you're writing the first one today right?"

Ranji: 15yrs, student-11th.
Present Situation: gloating.

All Rimi could do was nod a shaken affirmative while the toast turned to ashes in her mouth.

" know, the general view is that the paper is going to be really tough this year." said Ranji nonchantly while Rimi wished him to perdition.

"It's ok Rimi. I am sure you'll scrape a 60%" Ranji smirked.

Rimi prayed for a war to erupt just then.

"Anyway 50% percent is also possible eh?"

Nuclear explosion PLEASE!!!

" Don't worry, if you fail, you can always write a compartment."

" Shut up you fool!"

"That's enough Ranji!"

Pappa- 43yrs, engineer.

" Hey, I was just stating facts."

" Sadist!" spat Rimi" I didn't see you stating facts this time last year. And I'll be sure to remind you of them next year this time!"

Rimi had the satisfaction of seeing him blanche.

"Stop it both of you! Rimi have your coffee."

" Pappa, I really don't want coffee."

" Did you eat your toast?"

"Yes" said Rimi, quickly checking whether her half eaten toast was well concealed.

"Rimi, stop being fussy and eat it. You can't go on an empty stomach- you know that."


20 mins later-

"Pappa, shall we go."

"No wait, I'll just catch the broadcast.."

Oh no! this was just like nightmare no 132- leaving late reaching the examination hall just when bell rings for withdrawal of paper.

" No no pappa lets go now!" The whining had begun.

" Rimi, this will just take a few minutes and we have an hour and half till the assigned time anyway. Just calm down. "

Easier said than done Pappa dear.

" Pappa please pappa, take me there now pappa, pleasee pleaase please pappa, pleeeaaasssse."

' But Rimi, I -"

"Pleaaase...." almost in tears now.

Ma intervened- " Take her, you can see how she is. You can catch the broadcast later."

Pappa, understanding and patient though he was, could really not understand or be patient with Rimi's unatural nervousness. But- majority wins. Mumbling and grumbling about Prima-donna daughters and over hyped examinations Pappa left for school.

Horror of horrors, traffic jam!

Damn And Blast!!

"The roads seem flooded after yesterday's rain." commented Pappa, trying in vain to infuse some small talk into the charged atmosphere.

" Pappa we have to be at school by 7:30 otherwise the bus leaves without us to the centre!"

"Yes Rimi, but the car in front has to move right?" replied Pappa to his distraught offspring while furiously honking the horn.

15 desperate, nerve racking minutes later, the car was moving again, wipers flapping listlessly.

"Pappa please drive faster."

" Rimi, the road is full of water!"

"Pappa please we are going to be late!"

" Ok ok I''ll hurry."

Oh my God it's 7:15!!!

" Pappa, faster pappa!"

" Yes yes calm down it's only an exam."

"It's 7:15!!"Rimi was close to hysteria now.

" Rimi, don't worry- if we are late, I'll take you to the centre myself."

" Oh no! Alex sir said he'd give us some last tips! I'll fail if I didn't hear that!"

" Rimi, the only thing you have a risk of failing is in avoiding hyper tension. Now be sensible and stop being such a muddle of nerves."

" Yes Pappa."

There was a moment of silence.

"Pappa please drive faster!"

There's no use Pappa, your daughter is too strung up.

Finally, after a severely sloshy sojourn, the poor car reached it's destination.

Rimi jumped out of the car and ran to the front gate . The beating rain was unfelt on her zealous forehead. All Rimi cared about right then was to get into the bus, reach the centre, write the exam.

Pappa was calling something out.

"What is it Pappa?" asked Rimi just as she entered and turned to find-



Poor Pappa probably thought Rimi witnessed some gruesome sight- not just a missing School bus. Not that we can blame him for supposing this- Rimi was standing motionless like a zombie; rain dripping from her ponytail, staring into the empty courtyard.

" Rimi! Rimi! What happened dear?" Pappa ran up to her and covered her head with his umberella.

"It's gone...." she whispered" gone..."

" Ah Reemee! what you doing? How you are?"

Ummar ikka: unknown yrs, watchman cum janitor cum canteen supervisor.
Present situation: Cheerful, umberella weilding.

"Hello Ummar ikka, how are you?" asked Pappa respectfully.

" Me?" Ummar ikka smiled genially, wiping his thick horn rimmed glasses," Oh, I am good. My leg not hurting so much- it usual bad hurtings when raining, but today not-"

" Pappa," Rimi meanwhile had revived from the shock "Pappa, shouldn't we be..." she ended giving him the broad hint.

"Ah.. Reemee," began Ummar ikka." why you in uniform? Where you going?"

Rimi underwent a sudden transformation- she was now patronising-better-informed-but kind-individual talking to inferior-intelligence-organism.

" You see Ummar ikka, today is the first board exam"

" No no Reemee, no exam today."

Rimi was now getting annoyed, valuable minutes were slipping away as she conversed with a man who had obviously gone senile.

" Ummar ikka, today is the beginning of the exams."

" No Reemee."

"But ikka, today is the 12th remember. "

"Yes Reemee."

"Then the exams are today."

" No Reemee."

Rimi was getting hysterical again.


"Wait Rimi. Why is there no exam then, Ummar ikka?"

"The morning broadcast say there no exam today because bad raining. See- news paper saying also."

"WHAT??????"shouted Rimi.

"Rimi! Rimi! Wake up! Wake up what is wrong? What happened?"

Rimi woke up to stare at Ranji's worried face.

" rained Ranji, it rained.."


Friday, May 05, 2006

Nominate for the Ignoble Awards-Morning sleep

It's widely acknowledged that yours truly is not the morning type.

I belong to the category of "normal human being". Those who burrow deeper into the matress/quilt/anywhere away from the source of light or sound, at the burst of light with the drawn curtains and wail of the (damned) alarm. But unlike what mindless, cynical, worldwise, dumdums call "laziness" (gasp!!Shocked stares!), we morning sleepers are conoisseurs of le dormis. I call it the Theory of Conscious Sleep.

There is a logical explanation for this theory.

Now let us look at a general scenario. When you are asleep at night- I mean the deep, mindless, drool-from-open-mouth kind of sleep. The kind of sleep from which even an earthquake wouldn't wake you: that is "dull sleep'. Sleep that's...well..dull. I mean you don't really enjoy it because....Dammit!you are not even concious at that point of time!

Now at around the time where your body clock knows it has to wake up- you reach a state of semi-concious sleep. That's why you can hear your mother's voice when she starts the whole " Get-up-you're-late routine. Precisely when you hear that voice/siren/death knell, this theory kicks in.
Now you can savour your sleep. Feel it seeping through your over worked body (???? no, no creative conotations thankyou)Experience it like a vision, Enjoy it like some fragrant wine...Why? Because, technically, you aren't really asleep. You are concious of the feel of the warm blanket and the cold world outside. You are conscious of how your bones feel like they are sleeping. You are conscious of the fact that every second of borrowed sleep involves a risk factor. "Risk Factor ?" you ask. Of course! Sleeping late involves many risks. Some of them are-

a) You might get clobbered by the mater when she loses her temper and decides to manually remove ( read 'throw you out') of the safe sanctuary of your bed.

b) You may have to re-enact the Speed 2 stunts so that you reach your work place on time...well...atleast not too late.

So, naturally,when posed with these risks- the adventurer in you wakes up and decides-" Let's just see how far I can push it!" Because this risk factor also involves not only lightning fast reflex actions ( in event of a hurled pan of water/ running to catch a bus), but also quick thinking and pitting your wits against worthy adversaries- your mother/ warden/ room-mate.
Naturally any hot-blooded human being will rise to the occassion and exhibit an act of pure defiance by staying asleep.

Therefore, in conclusion, I would like to declare that we morning sleepers are not what lesser mortals call " lazy bums" ( poor chaps, they are just....intellectually know what I mean?) . We are the fighters of the small struggles! We are the pioneers for Revolution- we leave no rule unbroken! We are the true believers of " Method in Madness ". So next time you are being forced to wake up in the morning- just remember the " Theory of Concious Sleep" and stay PUT!

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Some of my haikus


The fires burn higher.
We cry for revolution!-
Of the dead fan blades.

Exam paper:

Red gashes on snow,
Dark smudges on white wastelands-
It's Death by paper.

To Varshini

She wanted to be free.
To run,
Like the wind in the desert.
She wanted to fly
Higher still.
She wanted to be not anyone -
She wanted to be The One.
She wanted to be able to look
at the whole world :
looking up at her .

She wanted so much-
She could have Had so much!
A moment's mistake,
turned all her dreams-
into just dreams.

This poem is dedicated to 13yr old Varshini, who lost her life along with her brother in a car accident last week. May their souls rest in peace.

Monday morning

Waking up in the morning to the alarm-4:00 am. Slamming it silent, then waking up 2hrs later-and late. Rush rush rush to the bathroom-Shit! Indu is already in.Damn! Run! Get the dorm bathroom before that is booked too. Aah thank God !Indu is out. Get the bucket don't forget the towel. 5 minutes left hurry!Oh no! the banging on the door has begun,holler-" I'll be out in a minute! ".

Ok towel around hair,jump into jeans-" yeah yeah I'm coming"-shirt on the right way- "Just 2 more minutes"- out of there! Udhaya goes into the ring. ok 15 minutes left-You can still make it. Quick poke in the lens.Forget the hair-who cares if it's wet? And if it looks like a haystack when its dry-deal with it.
Grab your satchel, phone-ok go! No no no!come back get rid of the bathroom slippers! ok Now go! No no!get your wallet. Ok now go. No no! check for your assignment-it's there? ok go.

Mad dash-" good morning ma'am"- drink somebody's coffee. Run, run, run-Dammit! Missed the bus! Wait-there's another one!
Jump in and hang on for dear life. " I am not your chair asshole, gerroff me!"Large curve coming up-Mission Impossible 2 stunt replica ( only this time on a rickety MTC 29c bus)

Final destination arrived-still alive. Cross the Black River populated by murderous crocodiles varieties: Bajaj, Ambassadors, Hondas, Pulsars.

You' ve made it!!!!!!!

" Hey Shree you are so early! And you look so fresh!"

Nothing like a Monday morning to give you that adrenalin rush!!

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Change shmange

It's all very fine saying change is inevitable and all that. The truth of the matter is that most people, make that all people, hate and I mean really HATE change. But that doesn't mean they don't want change. Everyone wants the other person to change,the rest of the world to change perhaps!
It's like Calvin( Calvin and Hobbes) says-" I want everyone else to change for me."
Of course, that is a hyperactive six-year-old perspective...but it does say something of the truth doesn't it? Even the slightest change is a cause of great despair. It's all very nice to say 'signature style' and all that, but-For God sakes!!- even a wardrobe change makes most people uncomfortable!

I think my family is a living breathing example of people resisting change. It's always been 'the way' for my uncle to sit at the tail of the table. He likes it there( heh heh heh). So when a guest who didn't know of this took 'his' seat, he spent the entire meal twisting, turning, fidgeting....generally behaving like he was on pins and needles. Now whenever a new guest comes you find him running to claim the special position(heh heh heh). My 14 yr old brother is an equally good example of how unconsciously anti-change we are. He would not eat a sandwich because it had less peanut butter than he usually has! This example promptly does away with the ridiculous myth that only older people find change a 50 ft hurdle.

Aversion to change not only causes inconveniences to the dining table. On a larger scale, people just don't give attention to persons who the have already slotted as(read-have accepted as and refuse to change perspective) either dull, uncreative or even troublesome. That's what happened to Einstein. Thankfully he had one teacher who had the sense to do a paradigm shift. Then there are the social examples. Why do you think it takes so long for a tiny social reform to come through hmm?

Which only brings us to the central point- what makes us behave like stuck screws, refusing to some out until you are painfully wrenched to reality? Why do we persist in being so boxed? Is it because we are programmed for automatic denial? Or is it simply because we don't want to? Perhaps this reluctance to change is one of those 'human traits'-those flaws which are supposed to exist so that we remain human. Well, thats a reassuring possibility-that way we don't have to change being averse to change; right?