Thursday, August 07, 2008

Hostel Humbug I: Bootcamp

Class didn't happen. Couldn't find it. Hence I am now basking in the benevolent light of internet availabitlity. And that results in another post. Read on soldier-

Hostel is a significant part of student existence. They teach the untried to survive-provide us with the necessary arsenal to face the harsh world ahead. The author has had the questionable good fortune of having spent her Under Graduate life in two exemplary examples of the educational hostels and now spends her P.G life in an equally interesting abode.

The first one was a study in community closeness. We hostel dwellers were very close-literally. We were all crammed together in a manner that made canned sardines seem comfortably housed. The hostel was actually a medium size house converted into a hostel. And the conversion was a bad idea. Approximately forty women were clogged together in a four bedroom house.The "dorm" was located in the corridor and housed some 20 girls. Each room (which, by the way, hadn’t much room to go by) was packed with six girls. This was achieved through judicious use of bunk beds. Which were another bane. Being an unsuspecting rookie, the author was thrilled with the prospect of getting the upper bunk. Only after the first night there did she realise what she had got herself into. The bed was situated in such a way that the hapless sleeper in the upper bunk got niether the air from the pedestal fan nor the cieling fan. And this was during a Chennai July. Explaination is unecessary. Several months of waitng and drenching before sleeping later- the author finally got the bed below the "hotseat". This one turned out to be a hotbed for mosquitoes. Several mosquito families owed their upkeep to the author. This great establishment not only taught us the value of space but also how to tackle encroachment, eviction and other such evils. We’d make admirable quotation gundas after the training we got here. Besides this, we also learnt the fungal nature of squalor. A perfectly neat corner will be filled with rubbish from nothing more than the mere proximity of a group of people.

Following first year, the author escaped from this institution- which probably accounts for what little sanity she had left. The next establishment was much better-for one thing it was clean and didn't house more than two people in a room. Of course the rooms were tiny, had no plug points and may seem, as Ms.Shinyhair loves to put it,"like a concentration camp cell". But they came with a great location and good ventilation (the fans worked!). Of course electricity was switched off from 10 am to 1 pm. and the lights were switched off at the main at 10 pm... But those were all minor in comparison to the water problem. We hostelites would scrounge up every bottle in sight to store water. For you see,most mornings saw the hostel bathrooms waterless. Forget bathing, brushing your teeth was a shifty possibility if you haven't stocked your bottles. Hair washing,especially,was a very dicey business. God help you if,at a weak moment,you decided to oil your hair overnight. But then again,considering the amount of salt in the water it would be advisable to leave the mane untouched. Truth be told- a cannibal would not have to add extra seasoning to you if s/he chances upon you after your bath.

U.G days have passed by. and now the author finds herself in the world of the University. And residenceless. Several weeks of nail-biting suspense later, she finally managed to infiltrate the hostel. And there raged a war for possesion(s) as never seen before.Furniture needed protection from marauding bedless/cupboardless/shelfless bandits. Meanwhile beds needed to be strategically acquired before other conquering souls swooped upon them and marked them with baggage.Constant information must travel between you and your allies to see that you are sufficiently guarded and your supplies untouched. Much like the ancient battles for supremacy, space and territory were coveted with a vengeance. It is at these trying moments that one's territorial nature is awakened. May be it is some kind of weird allegory that the hostel premices are populated with a variety of dogs- them being fiercely territorial and all.

A new hostel saga has begun. Heroes will be born. Legends will told. But all that will have to wait. I need to get to class. Forward march!

7 comments:

Anush said...

Qn:why am i reading this at 2.20 pm - a time i wud rather have spent sleepin under the trees?

A: because it called to me - like... like... something that calls out to me

:)

grt post! and good luck conquering newer domains!

iAM said...

hee hee, dude so apt!! like me keeping up all night, wondering whether my ragged bed would be stolen... SOO bootcamp!!
adn me still remembering the plundering of teh hostel - all teh crazy mummies and daddys making sure their precious darlings have everything they need, even if it's at teh cost of someone els's precious darling.. :)

AtomicGitten said...

Crazybugga: you know, sleeping under trees- at any time- is not advisable. You don't know how many kinds of shityou'll have on you when you wake up. "Called" to you? Indeed.. * quirked eyebrow*
Thanks :D You really made my day :D

Fen'huang: Yup! Right from the guard duty to the scrounging and scouting to the intense fighting- it's bootcamp all the way. Hup two three four...

notgogol said...

lol! brilliant piece.. u've left me smiling :)
My four years of luxurious hostel-hood and now apartment-hood seems to be a dream compared to yours :P (Does this qualify as rubbing-of-salt-on-wounds? ahh.. but am sure that the dorm water condiments aren't completely rubbed off as yet either :P)

AtomicGitten said...

Notgogol: Humph! Well my new hostel is so cool you're appartment will bow it's ceiling in shame! Of course the reason for that is because i don't have a blanket...never mind.
And ahem- I'd like to make it clear that i am salt free; regardless of earlier hostel sediments.

Jan said...

Ah... hostels... those establishments that seemed so distant... so unbelievable... so far away... have now become a solid reality! Forgive me, but I like hostel life. Washing your own clothes sucks sometimes but I LOWEEEE IT!

Er... Annoyingly chirpy, aint I? Ah, give it time. The whining will begin. :D

AtomicGitten said...

Jan:Hey hostels are fun-I never question that. But the fun is usually of a bitter sweet nature. And you,Janabelle,are a rookie yet. Hence the uncharacteristic optimism. :P
Hope you're having a great time in the new place. :)