Sunday, February 07, 2010

Writers Block

The page is my enemy. It stares at me in blank indifference, scoffing at my desperate need for recognition. It tells me nothing to soothe my questions, merely taking everything I throw at it with impartial disinterest. I rail at it wildly, filling it with words that refuse to stick to it. And when they do, the page seems to look askance at them, as if their presence was mere sufferance. The futility of this exercise frustrates me with its one-sidedness. Why are you being like this? Can’t you feel like me and open up your arms to my weary pen for once. Why must we always engage in this strange dance of domination? Why must it always be a tussle between the two of us? Tempestuous relationships are all well and good in the sharp-edged turns of plot. But between the two of us it is merely a cruel game.

Why don’t you relent, why can’t we play nice: just for once? I’m too weary of witty repartee and I am not equipped with the charm to artfully win you over. Wouldn’t it be so much easier if you let these words bloom magically on your pristine body rather than cling precariously, desperate for absolution. As I try in vain to reach you, you throw spider webs in my path so I am caught up trying to extricate myself from their invisible strands. And as I twist and contort in vain, you stare at me with complete indifference: not even amusement at the sorry state of this writer.

Ah cruel, cruel page. It is not fair, this utter lack of feeling. Doesn’t it make a difference to you, that I burn with the dream of setting you afire with my inspiration? Obviously not. Why would it, anyway? I know you don’t care. There are so many greater minds paying greater homage to your exalted self. Yet, I try once again to bedeck you in my fancy: fool that I am. And again I look at you with hopeless hope that you will accept the meagre gift of my thoughts. You shrug and gather up the words, putting them up on the dusty showcase full of other tribute. And again I am driven by the insane urge to be the one to create that perfect tribute that will finally light up your dull, pale visage with glowing beauty. Determination rings like a hammer on the anvil of my soul and you stare back stonily at the fires of inspiration in my eyes burning the last failure to prepare space for another attempt... I will conquer you cold page. And you will carry my love with love.

"The triumph of hope over experience."

12 comments:

Materialmom said...

Determination meets tenacity. And you have conquered! "'" Sorry

iAM said...

hey babes.. love the whole love affair type thing between the writer and the.. i guess the need to write? very well expressed with some lovely images as well... wish you'd written this before, would have been good for teh competition.. still up for being hannah banana hammock??? :)

Anush said...

u kno wat?

this beats ALL your posts which depicted u as an incredibly witty, intelligent, humorous, gifted writer...

beats ALL tat! :) this one runs purely on emotion :) and its by far ur best work :) really really fabulous... and most importantly u somehow managed to write this in prose (as opposed to poetry which some ppl (me) find hard to follow)

Anush said...

and here is a riddle for u : I was reading about the direct tax code when i suddenly remembered ur blog...

wats the connection? can u find it? :)

i cant :(

Anush said...

oh ok ok, i got it... but anyway, u take a shot :P

N said...

Wow. Super! Inspiring! Motivating enough to make me jump into the battle, too.

AtomicGitten said...

MM: Thank you :), and Sorry for what? :/

Fen'huang: Hannah Bananahammock would have been an option, had it not entailed taking ANOTHER DD :P As for the love-affair thingy, what with all the love all around this place it is the easiest thing to replicate ;D

Anush: Thank you so much, you made my day :D And you lost me with the Direct Tax Code thing :P

N:Thanks:)It's always nice to have new commenters and even nicer when they like what I've written. Thanks :)

Anush said...

tat page was takin time to load :P

AtomicGitten said...

Slow and Steady wins the race. :P

Materialmom said...

Sorry for correcting - simply can't stop it.

vineeth said...

I read it once. And then I read it once again. And the sheer beauty just seems to grow, with every read. Breathtaking!!

AtomicGitten said...

MM: It's all good :)

Vineeth:Thank you Vineeth. In all truthfulness it was written in a fit of frustrated non-beauty.