Make-down

Apparently senility is making its presence felt within my geriatric being .
Hitting 21 has set off weird experimental tendencies in my erstwhile marginally sane mind. But the hold must be slipping from my gnarled hands. Why else would I actually
dabble in that quagmire, make-up?
How low the mighty have fallen!...

...It was a nice, cool evening, the wind blowing in fresh soft gusts from the balcony. My newly cleaned out room smiled a satisfied smile and all was in peace. Not for long... At some misguided moment, like Dr.Frankenstien, I decided to tread on unchartered territories. Chancing upon a lonely pot of kajal, some wicked spirit whispered in my ear to try out "smoky eyes". Dunno what that is? Neither did I, until a few months back. I blame it all on my fashion savy room-mate whose every second word is a fashion statement ;p . "Smoky eyes", as popularised by the likes of Angelina Jolie, Rani Mukherjee etc., essentially involves drawing kohl on your eyes and then smudging the whole thing.Yeah yeah it's supposed to have a lot more to it, but this is the bare essential method. Ridiculous, isn't it? And it sounds ridiculously easy too.

Apparently not.

Eye #1 was not such a hassle, the kajal behaved itself and went only where the ear-bud coaxed (yes, I'm an innovative soul). Eye#2 however was where both kajal and ear-bud decided to make like the Bounty crewmen and mutiny. I dabbed left, the kajal went right. Truly a scietific miracle- I don't know how it managed it! Pretty soon I figured out I wasn't a dab hand at dabbing. 'This eye is lighter than the other. No problem. Just a little more to that side. And some more to this side.A little here and- Oh hell now this eye is darker than the other.' A few short minutes later,I looked like a sleep deprived druggie with a blackened eye. Shooting a black glance at the kohl encrusted earbud, I tried my luck again.Dab, dab, rub, rub. Oh lovely-a look in the glass confirmed my suspicions- Now I looked like a panda.

In the face of such stubborn non-cooperation from the earbuds, I decided to go for a new game plan. Yes, I know what you're thinking. I should have just given it up then. But like any tragic heroine, I simply tumbled headlong and headstrong into my black doom. Chucking the offending earbud into the nearest dustbin, I put my ingenious plan into action. I ground two of my fingers into the kajal and swept them across my eye- Woohoo! it's going where it's supposed to go! A little here and little there, wait let me just scratch my upper li- AAAAG!

Great! Now I looked like a panda with half a black moustache.

And no- not just your average Charlie Chaplin moosh. This one would probably put Tipu Sultan to shame. I raised my hands in despair -and thankfully stopped before any more damage could be done.I yield ye black monsters of beauty! I swallowed the dark draught of defeat and slinked off to wash away the stains of battle.

Slipping into stealth mode I shimmied out of my room and shadowed towards the nearest sink and soap. Admittedly, being the one person in the entire family with nothing to do, gives one a lot of solitude. However, there's always a chance of brother dearest sneaking up on me when I least expected it or wanted it. Like right then, for example. Thankfully he and nobody else did. Tip toeing my way to the bathroom, I vigorously scrubbed my face- only to realise that the kajal I had used was of a particularly stubborn varitety. About half an hour later I emerged out of the bathroom looking like Gollum's grandaunt who was majorly into cocaine.

I wholeheartedly admit that my attempt at smoky-eyes was too much smoke for my eyes. On the otherhand, I believe I created a new fashion phenomenon myself. I mean, if there can be "smoky eyes", there can also be "burnt-charcoal-eyes", right? Be that as it may, I think I'll limit my make-up escapades to plain chapstick. If not for the sake of my questionable sanity, at least for that of others who may unwittingly stumble upon the Beast trying to get to Beauty level :P.

Now I'm off to bed to catch up on my beauty sleep. Goodnight :D