Thursday, July 23, 2009

Ice-quake

Sue raised her white head from her scrabble board.
"A new one?"
“Yup. a magnificent giant! I finished one all by myself” said Raju
Kochu's eyes flashed from under her grey brows.
“Hmm... then it shouldn’t be too large.” Mused Sue, dismissing her nephew's achievement, her pulse quickening at the thought of the new challenge. Sue and Kochu were a perfectly amiable grandmothers. But their placidity unerringly evaporated in the face of frozen desserts.

It was called Earthquake.

The siege was planned. And the Earthquake shivered silently within the frozen reaches of Dasa’s Ice cream Parlour– A site of several previous battles. One fateful afternoon, bringing along their ever willing ice cream hunting squire the young Kalyani, Sue and Kochu set off to vanquish the Earthquake. Unfortunately, the price list dealt a huge blow to their morale. The Earthquake was an expensive affair and the funds were stretched. Kalyani, ever smiling, martyred her taste-bud nirvana in favour of a commonplace sundae. That matter settled, they turned to the expressionless waiter at their side.

“Two Earthquakes.” Sue declared.
A frisson of incredulity passed over the waiter’s face.
“Two, ma’am?”
‘Yes, two.”
The waiter seemed inclined to clean his ears vigorously “Two ma’am? Are you sure? Two?”
The show of disbelief shook the steady confidence of the duo. Kalyani cleared her throat nervously. May be this wasn’t such a good idea...
But Sue scoffed at those fears. No ice cream was beyond them. “Two it is!” she said decisively.
“Two it is.” The waiter agreed shaking his head in disbelief. He passed on the information to a cluster of waiter who turned in unison to stare at the trio with ill concealed trepidation.

“Er.. Sue, I’m having a few doubts here...”faltered Kochu looking at the departing waiter and his retinue.
“Oh come Kochu, where is your spirit! How can you say no to ice cream?!”
Which is when their order arrived, and promptly gave Kochu a few more gray hairs.

The Earthquake should have been called the Avalanche. One Earthquake consisted of twelve scoops of ice cream in various flavours, topped with barrels of nuts, buried under oodles of caramel, augmented by a blanket of tutti-frooti and surrounded by a moat of chocolate sauce.

And they had ordered two.

As the waiter tottered under the weight of the two mountains he carried and attempted to heft them on to the poor table, Kochu shot accusing glances at Sue who tried to look like she was totally in control of the situation. The waiter, task accomplished, mopped his brow and smiled. “The shop is open all night. Take your time.”
The minute the waiter retreated to nurse his aching biceps the duo put their heads together.

“Sue I told you this wasn’t a good idea!”
“Hey I didn’t know that this was going to be such a giant!”
“Didn’t the name give you a hint?”
“What’s wrong?” interrupted Kalyani, innocently nyumming her sundae. “I’m sure you can finish it.”

Such youthful faith revived their flagging spirits. They had to live up to their squire’s expectations. And thus it began. All the waiters had gathered to witness the great battle. While Sue systematically demolished scoop after scoop, Kochu decided to massacre the lot in one go. However, neither method nor madness spelt victory. The end of half an hour saw Sue with a frozen tongue and Kochu with a plate which looked like she had butchered an ice cream cow on it.Kalyani continued to watch, smiling bravely and giving them words of encouragement. The forged on bite after frozen bite, refusing to surrender. But when Sue’s tongue refused to feel a fork being thrust into its frosted skin, they had to admit defeat.

“Thalyani I’m tho thorry ...” Sue lisped listlessly, her voice whispering from in between the icicles that hung from her teeth.
“We can’t do this!” groaned Kochu throwing down her spoon with a splatter.

Gasp! The waiters put their hands to the mouths, shook their heads in mute sorrow and disbanded. While Kalyani tried to swallow this impossible piece of information, Sue tried valiantly to swallow one more mouthful of ice cream before her mouth froze shut. Kochu made more of a mess on her plate.

“Tho thad... all thith ithe cream ith wathted...” thighed..er.. sighed Sue.

Which is when their squire’s brilliance illuminated the hall. “I’ll run across to the store and get some lunch boxes!”

Sue and Kochu’s clammy visages thawed at this ray of hope. Kalyani was quickly dispatched to the nearest plastic dabba shop. While the duo waited with desperate hope, a waiting waiter spoke up. “Your valour is great and your daring greater still. But how could you presume to defeat two Earthquakes! A single earthquake itself is meant for twelve people!”

Sue and Kochu exchanged embarrassed glances. They could not admit that their recon work had been so faulty. Then Sue’s brilliant creativity kicked in. “Ith wath a bet!” she declared, nudging Kochu vigorously to jog her cranium.
“Wha – er... ah... yes. A bet. Our nephew...er... niece... um...uncle...I mean...”

Meanwhile Kalyani had returned to save the day. The remaining mountain of ice cream was shovelled into the boxes and the trio beat a hasty retreat to defrost their faces and assuage their bruised egos from the onslaught of the Earthquakes. To this day Sue and Kochu shiver at the memory of the ice cream King.

4 comments:

Ay Jay said...

Hey! Atleast they tried. Better to fail after an attempt rather than admit defeat early on.

AtomicGitten said...

Yes, their valour even in the face of defeat is admirable :D

notgogol said...

Your stories always mange to bring a smile on my face :)

P.S. You must try this thing called the "Aic kachung" (Im sure I've screwed the spelling up). Its a malay dessert. Ice + Ice Cream + Strawberries + berries + Nuts + syrup shaped like a mountain. The most beautiful being on earth :) .. and before you pass some sarci comment about not being in Malaysia, you can have it at this restaurant in Chennai called Pelita Nasi Kandar :)

AtomicGitten said...

NG: Glad to spread the cheer :D
and yes I've been to Pelita. amazing place with the yummiest ice tea!Will try the Aice Kachungathingy next time I'm there. Until then, cafeteria zindabad. Sigh... :P