A Little Chicken is a dangerous thing

When you see a chicken- you know how the phrase "dumb bird" came to being.The bird is a bird-brained, dumb-duck! I know it's a foul way to speak of the delicious fowl- but if you ask me, chickens are best on the dinner platter liberally garnished with gravy and other mouth watering delicacies or fried to a crisp with lots of spice. But if you see these dumb birds as subservient sufferers, you are much mistaken. They do get their revenge. The occasional bird flu back fires and ends up getting more chickens that humans being killed-but I repeat: They get their revenge.

The thought hit me like a monster MTC bus when a dish of roast chicken and mashed potatoes was placed before moi. My mouth watered, my stomach rumbled enthusiastically- but there was a small problem. I was expected to eat with a knife and fork. I was as alien to flatware etiquette as a bear to Einstein's Theory of Relativity! My friend rocked on her seat crying mirthful tears watching my struggles. And I ground my teeth and glared at the big, fat, haunch of meat sitting and blinking at me like some dumbass chicken! But no bird-dead or alive- was going to get the better of me! HAH!

I rammed the fork in and hacked away at the chicken like a maddened Ghenghis Khan only to be rewarded by a tiny sliver of meat. Not one to be disheartened I persevered- splattering my table-mat, my table-mate, the surrounding tables and myself liberally with gravy and mashed potatoes. We battled to and fro neither side relenting. The enemy was a deadly fighter- "dead" being the operative word. But I'm no chicken. The war was turning messier by the minute.And my friend was falling off her chair with laughter.

But at last human nature got the upper hand and most of the dead bird disappeared down the gullet. But there were losses on both sides. On my side it was mostly of dignity. And also a certain feeling that the spirit of that exasperating chicken had been watching and having a hearty laugh- damned bird!

Needless to say- I beat a hasty retreat.