Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Name Shame

To start on an oft quoted quote- "What's in a name?"

I'm sure Sycho Baby would have a lot to rant about on that flippant statement. As would Shitty. And Mincy. And Diarrhea.

And these examples are all real people.

It is fascinating to wonder what exactly deranged parents were thinking while condemning their offspring to such labels. These name-traumas permanently scar the poor person.Put yourself in the shoes of young "Queen Elizabeth" - yes, she really was named that- and you'll see what I mean.Imagine the plight of the poor 80 year old, forever doomed to a name like "Baby". Isn't that taking "eternal youth" a step too far? A similar anomaly is the case of grotesquely ugly individuals named "Sundaran"/"Sundari". I suppose their parents were trying very hard to fool themselves. Poor Lajjith probably dies of shame everytime he has to introduce himself.

Mallus are atrocious namers.There are a huge number of kids condemned to being called Saddam Hussein,Lenin, Stalin etc. everyday.Mallu Christians are another category by themselves. A mad fettish for rhyme, leaves hapless siblings with names on the lines of Jincy,Dincy,Vincy,Lincy,Tincy(!),Mincy,Rincy... (let us pause for a moment and pray for these blighted children.)

To move on. Names can be damaging in their extreme imagination or complete lack of it. My grandfather used to tell us the story of his distant cousin's name. Born after several years and several daughters, the young son bore the full brunt of his sanskrit-scholar father's eruditon. He was named-

"Eeshadvikasithakundasamaananasmitaruchiraananajithaparva
nahimakiranan."

The semiotics of this name are irreproachable. It's almost poetic. Sadly it's epic proportions leave something lacking. And the anticlimax of the whole name,was that the cousin was finally and universally called 'Kandunni', a massive step down from the kavya traditions of his actual name. The other extreme is equally sad. The handyman at my father's place, besides being wiry, betel chewing and sloshed every evening, is as dark as a politician's doings. And he is named Karuppan which- wouldn't you guess- means "blackie". Let us side step the obvious political incorrectness of that and wonder--Couldn't his parents have thought of something a little innovative? What could be a better- or should I say worse- example of this disturbing lack of creativity in parents,than all those boring begetters who name their children after states!These individulas can be excused as being patriotic, but what about those parents who name their offspring after months and days? And who can forget Douglas Adams' creation,"Fenchurch" who was named after a railway station. I suppose they ran out of creativity post creation of the child in question.

And then there are the incomplete names. The kinds where a person introduces herself/himself and you're wondering "And..?". One such name I've come across is "Chinma". I mean, it sounds like her parent was cut off in the middle of saying the whole name and whatever was said got stuck. Names can also be a curse just by sounding the way they do. Let me remind of Yann Martel's creation, "Piscine"- forever doomed to jokes about "Pissin'". But a fictional case will not prove this contention. Imagine the plight of poor "Abish", his name booming like the soundtrack for a fight scene in some sad production. Or Uppili,who ought to become a clown or a stand-up comedian, because the moment he says his name people start laughing.Another similar situation is the case of double meaning. Remember "Gaylord Focker", of "Meet The Parents" fame? And my personal favorite-"Mahaboob".

My question is,what exactly are parents thinking while bestowing a terrible name on their child? Is it some kind of revenge for inflicting labour pains? Or is a crime of passion- they were carried away by an artistic,patriotic or ideological madness? Or is it some wayward misconception of teaching them humility through shame? Perhaps... After all, the parents' minds work in mysterious ways. To quote the Bard yet again- "There are more things on heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in our philosophy."


P.S: As for my name, my parents were over-reachers and hoped for great things from me. Hence I'm left to create my own names.

Yours,
AtomicGitten/Ames

11 comments:

Poshgit said...

ha ha ha...I agree!! And i guess the horror of it all can only be matched by the insane combination of three completely sane names (i'm of course referring to R.T.P, yours truly)...each of which belongs to a different culture...talk about 'being suspended in identity-crisis limbo'... :P

keep me in those prayers...

AtomicGitten said...

Ah yes, your name is an example for international integration :D. And rest assured, you have a starring role in my prayers. :)

Anush said...

again, wil u marry me? [:P]

u r gettin better post by post dude. You shud seriously seriously consider writing short stories for entertainment purpose. To come up with such a topic is itself a big task, and u were able to write somethin funny about it as well!

and i wud like to kno wat u wud call your kids.

AtomicGitten said...

Thanks for the offer love, but I'm a lone-she-wolf.:D
You are getting more and more effusive with your praise- and I'm getting more and more suspicious :P.
My kids? I'm thinking of calling them X and Y and letting them choose their own names when they are able to.:D

Materialmom said...

HaHaha...
Enjoyed your well thought out and wittily written post.
Silly, Tilly, litty, Filly, Siby, Kiby, Annas, Saman came to mind.
Also poor Mahboob and Anu, who suffered due to bad spelling and punctuation

AtomicGitten said...

Oh yes "Silly"! I new I'd forgotten one. Lol the transformation of "Anu" into an excretory organ doubly enforces the need for proper punctuation Jan could use this argument in her fight against absent apostrophes.

notgogol said...

I hopped on her from another region of your Gitdom. A few of your posts are simply awesome :) I especially relished the post on names, more so since I've had my share of bad experience with mind-numbingly bad names (e.g. Camay, Lovely, and a woman called 'Shiksha Mantri'.. sister of 'Raksha Mantri') Even the piece on your media of communication at home was brilliant.

Seriously, lovely blog and very very well updated :)

P.S. Lit. student = 'someone who can find meaning even in the meaningless' ... true but LOL :))

AtomicGitten said...

Thanks Notgogol, you made my day! :D You jumped from Posh's blog, didn't you?
Oh my God! "Shiksha Mantri"??? And I thought I'd seen the worst heh heh heh. Oh and about the definition of a lit student- it's funny but it's true. It also explains why lits can lit-ter our papers with such sensible and logical sounding bullshit. :D

notgogol said...

Ah..yes I did hop over from the Posh git's blog.

In contrast, we engineers engineer completely senseless and illogical bullshit that no one buys; I have an entire faculty and a resoundingly successful grade sheet standing testament :D

P.S. What is this obsession with gits? This is a gitting a gittle too much :P

AtomicGitten said...

And I thought Sirgit was bad!
Sirrah, you have obviously not visited the Mother blog.Now that's a piece of giterature. On second thoughts, exposure to such gittiness might git into your system. :D

notgogol said...

Gitter, gitter on the wall,
Who is the gittiest of them all?

P.S. I shall be investing precious gittle time into unraveling the g(l)ittery realm you mention. But first, Karuappan has caught my eye.. (er.. that sounds corny)