Tuesday, May 27, 2008

The Theory of Theories

Over the years of going through the futile exercise of education one is forced to "learn" theories and axioms propagated by venerated and cursed individuals. The author too admits having gone through this sad routine. However, unlike less the productive, the author spent more time contemplating the philosophy of theories than actually mugging them up. Why, wondered I while perusing through Newton and his laws, did the no good, jobless, individual just not eat the bloody apple and be done with it. He was probably suffering from a stomach upset or something. Which brought on further ruminations on the lines of the popular joke regarding Newton's excretory thoughts (his thoughtlessness to be more precise), followed by further reflections on the other popular joke concerning his marital status which spawned the law of equal and opposite reactions... And it is at this juncture the ferocious physics teacher swooped down upon me like a Fury and... I'd rather not go into that.

But to get back to the lost point, why do common ideas and things that stare you in the face like gravity and the whole food availability theory that Amartya Sen got the whole Nobel Prize for, become the bane of student existence? The fact is, until these dastardly devils give these simple truths unpronounceable names, these truths and theories were enjoyable thoughts. And e then-when they do name them, they become the dreaded THEORY. And now finally the point. The Theory behind Theories.

This theory states that any homily suitably endowed with difficult language and a name that spans time and space with more syllables than one can keep track of, automatically becomes what is generally referred to as the theory. This rule is applicable to any axiom- ranging from how to reverse a bike to best way to write graffiti. And of course once this is accomplished the poor piece of common sense becomes much cursed and generally bemoaned. And it is only when this stage is reached that we can know for sure that the theory has become a theory. Once they start appearing in text books and getting mugged up for board exams you know you've clinched the theory spot.

And this be-eth my Theory on theories. I'm thinking of the perfect name, but my latin is not up to scratch.

6 comments:

notgogol said...

Imagine the plight of a student of science/engineering lady. Imagine...

Btw mugging them up can be a very bad idea you see. A classmate learnt it the hard way when he got his basics mixed up and tried to convince a prof. that 'actually, water flows from low pressure to high pressure'. He went on and on about how water tanks at home should be built on the ground floor and not the terrace. The professor is still in shock. :P

AtomicGitten said...

Ah I know your sorrows oh maligned science student. I empathize deeply.
And yes, mugging up is a bad idea that's why i steered clear of it. However I must admit it was my only recourse while tackling hydras like Arabic, where one seriously didn't know what was being written in the first place..

Low pressure to high pressure?!! Even being an all out art student I can't help hanging my jaw in astonishment. Hell, even I knew that was skrut!

notgogol said...

Arabic!!! :O *jaws drop*
Why lady why? Isn't life complicated enough already?

... he also stated a 'well thought out' analogy viz. 'how heat flows from a cold body to a hot body' and why cold showers in winter make more 'scientific' sense :P

AtomicGitten said...

Yes, arabic was rather unnecessary,but sadly the ministry didn't think so and made it compulsory till the 9th std. You haven't read my previous posts,have you? Ah well.

Words fail me. What exactly was this person thinking? Oh pardon me, he couldn't have been thinking. Are you sure he wasn't addled, suffering from heat stroke or a concussion or something?

notgogol said...

Lol! Having just read your Middle-Eastern Crisis I can now empathize with you. It brought back 'fond' memories of my Japanese learning days when I would care to mug up only a choice few words and then relate the others to these basic ones.
I would mug-up say 'cow' and 'boy' and the remaining words would magically be registered in my head as:
1. Hind-legs-chopped-off-cow-sits-on-armless-boy
2. Inverted-boy-on-head-looks -at-lollipop-holding-udderless-cow

... and so on and so forth :P

P.S. Your "comment-banter' in the same post was just as enjoyable - "My natural good breedeing stops me from giving you suggestions for what you can do with that." ... LMAO!! :P
The prof's exact words post-viva were "Please take him away from here right-now. I'm a heart-patient." :P

AtomicGitten said...

Interesting.. you should teach these techniques to other students. Give it a weird name and make a few tapes and you can be a business success as well :P
And please convey my utmost sympathies to hat poor prof of yours. He needs some support :P